Shut that kid up....How hard can it be?
Views on Parenting AC:
I have never done anything so hard in my life.
BUT...I love it ...and am so very lucky to have my family
- Grandparents will be overwhelming annoying, authoritarian and oozing with love. If I ever hear how "they" did it in their day one more time...... They are beating you and each other off 24/7 to get at the child
- You have visitors pouring in your room all hours of the day
- Not a single midwife offers to take the baby to the nursery for the night
- The breast feeding Nazis will make you feel incompetent and useless
- Your hospital room will be full of flowers and presents. It will be a two car trip home - one for flowers and one for mum and bub
- Newborns breath irregularly.....they are not dying of SIDS and sleeping on the camp bed after the Cesarean listening to their breathing all night won't fix any thing.
- Sleep, eat, play routine does not happen till you are a crazy sleep deprived axe murdering mother.
- Old women will physically stop you when you are screaming around the shops getting everything done between feeds to ask "How old?" "Is it a boy?" (because we dress boys in pink now days) "Did you know your baby is crying"
Child #2 (and in my case #3 as well)
- Grandparents are oozing love but playing golf and having lunches with friends
- Only your partner, first born and grandparent visit you in hospital
- When the midwife suggests you leave baby in the nursery overnight you run down the corridor to the nursery with the baby ASAP.
- Your hospital room has flowers only from your partner, your first born and your mother. You can all get home in one trip (older sibling included).
- Breast feeding? Wheres the formula .....I'm not the only one whose going to be doing the feeds this time
- You cant remember how your baby breathes whilst sleeping as you are asleep
- Sleep, eat, play routine (what was that again?)
- Old women will physically stop you when you are screaming around the shops getting everything done between feeds to ask "How old?" "Are they a boy and girl.....no...Oh so they are not identical???" (hello???) "Three under two - you must be busy" (yes I am so LEAVE ME ALONE) "Did you know your baby is crying" (Yes thanks for that.... I have only just stopped hearing the crys after 12hr of NON STOP CRYING).
- Weetbix sets like cement so get it off the floors, walls, windows and skirting ASAP.
- A big plastic drop sheet and clear PVC table cloths are your salvation
- Don't waste money on expensive high chairs with padding...get the hose-able ones with no hiding spaces
- Never bath before tea. Bowls of food on heads or flying across the room are evidently hilarious
- DVD players are designed to hide all types of toys
- Books are made for ripping
- Toy cars are meant to drive on the walls
- Beds are inside trampoline's