Parenting - by trial and error

My views on Parenting BC:
Shut that kid up....How hard can it be? 

Views on Parenting AC:
I have never done anything so hard in my life.

BUT...I love it ...and am so very lucky to have my family

Lessons learnt:

Child #1:
  1. Grandparents will be overwhelming annoying, authoritarian and oozing with love.  If I ever hear how "they" did it in their day one more time......  They are beating you and each other off 24/7 to get at the child
  2. You have visitors pouring in your room all hours of the day
  3. Not a single midwife offers to take the baby to the nursery for the night
  4. The breast feeding Nazis will make you feel incompetent and useless
  5. Your hospital room will be full of flowers and presents. It will be a two car trip home - one for flowers and one for mum and bub
  6. Newborns breath irregularly.....they are not dying of SIDS and sleeping on the camp bed after the Cesarean listening to their breathing all night won't fix any thing.
  7. Sleep, eat, play routine does not happen till you are a crazy sleep deprived axe murdering mother.
  8. Old women will physically stop you when you are screaming around the shops getting everything done between feeds to ask "How old?"  "Is it a boy?" (because we dress boys in pink now days)  "Did you know your baby is crying"

Child #2 (and in my case #3 as well)

  1.  Grandparents are oozing love but playing golf and having lunches with friends
  2. Only your partner, first born and grandparent visit you in hospital
  3. When the midwife suggests you leave baby in the nursery overnight you run down the corridor to the nursery with the baby ASAP.
  4. Your hospital room has flowers only from your partner, your first born and your mother. You can all get home in one trip (older sibling included).
  5. Breast feeding? Wheres the formula .....I'm not the only one whose going to be doing the feeds this time
  6. You cant remember how your baby breathes whilst sleeping as you are asleep
  7. Sleep, eat, play routine (what was that again?)
  8. Old women will physically stop you when you are screaming around the shops getting everything done between feeds to ask "How old?" "Are they a boy and so they are not identical???" (hello???) "Three under two - you must be busy" (yes I am so LEAVE ME ALONE) "Did you know your baby is crying" (Yes thanks for that.... I have only just stopped hearing the crys after 12hr of NON STOP CRYING).
General lessons:
  1. Weetbix sets like cement so get it off the floors, walls, windows and skirting ASAP.
  2. A big plastic drop sheet and clear  PVC table cloths are your salvation
  3. Don't waste money on expensive high chairs with padding...get the hose-able ones with no hiding spaces
  4. Never bath before tea.  Bowls of food on heads or flying across the room are evidently hilarious
  5. DVD players are designed to hide all types of toys
  6. Books are made for ripping
  7. Toy cars are meant to drive on the walls
  8. Beds are inside trampoline's